Generations of Love: How Grandparents and Caring Older Adults Help Children Grow

September brings a special opportunity to celebrate the grandparents, relatives, neighbors and other caring older adults who add love, laughter and wisdom to children’s lives. With National Grandparents Day on September 13, it’s a wonderful time to think about the many ways relationships across generations benefit children.

Maybe it’s Grandma sharing a favorite childhood story, Abuelo patiently helping little hands stir pancake batter, a great-aunt looking through family photographs or a trusted older neighbor taking a child on a walk to see what’s blooming. These everyday moments may seem simple, but they can be meaningful opportunities for connection and learning. Below, we explore the many ways grandparents and caring older adults help children grow and offer ideas to strengthen these important bonds.

Key Takeaways

• Caring relationships across generations can give children an additional sense of security and belonging. What matters most is that the relationship is safe, loving and dependable.
• Everyday activities can become rich learning opportunities. Reading, singing, cooking, gardening, walking and sharing stories encourage language, curiosity and connection.
• Intergenerational relationships can help children practice empathy and respect. Spending time with people of different ages helps children appreciate different perspectives, abilities and experiences.
• Both generations have something valuable to contribute. Older adults can share stories, skills and encouragement while children bring their own ideas, interests, energy and knowledge.
• Connection doesn’t require living nearby. Video calls, voice messages, drawings, photographs and other simple rituals can help long-distance relationships grow.

Building Security, Connections and Empathy

Each family looks different. Not every child has a grandparent nearby or a grandparent who can actively participate in their life. A step-grandparent, great-grandparent, older relative, family friend, neighbor or mentor can also become an important part of a child’s circle of trusted adults.

Warm, consistent relationships with grandparents and other trusted older adults can give children another source of security, belonging, conversation and encouragement. By spending time together, children have opportunities to practice communication, empathy, patience and curiosity.

Why Relationships with Grandparents Matter

Grandparents can become important members of a child’s circle of trusted adults. Their steady attention, affection and family connection may help children feel secure, valued and connected to something larger than themselves.

But the title isn’t what makes the relationship meaningful. The quality and consistency of the connection matter.

Grandparents and caring older adults complement the important role of parents and primary caregivers. Depending on the family, that relationship might involve daily pickups, a monthly visit, an annual vacation or a regular video call from hundreds of miles away.

Healthy intergenerational relationships also respect family boundaries, parenting choices and the comfort of everyone involved. There is no single “right” way for a child and an older adult to form a special connection.

Five Ways Caring Older Adults Support Children’s Development

1. They Strengthen Security and Belonging

Children benefit from knowing there are dependable people in their world who care about them.

Familiar routines, warm greetings and focused one-on-one attention can become reassuring touchpoints. For some children, that might be Saturday morning pancakes at Grandma’s house. For another, it could be a familiar bedtime story with Grandpa over a video call.

These traditions don’t need to be elaborate. Often, their magic comes from their predictability: This is something we do together.

Grandparents and older relatives can also help children understand their family stories, cultures and traditions. Looking at photographs, sharing favorite foods, singing familiar songs or talking about family celebrations can help children develop a deeper sense of identity and belonging.

2. They Build Language and Communication Skills

There may be no better excuse for a good story than time with someone who has plenty of them to tell! Conversations with grandparents and caring older adults introduce children to words, questions, stories and different ways of expressing ideas.

When children listen to a childhood memory, explain how their favorite toy works or ask approximately 47 questions about what life was like “a long, long, LONG time ago,” they’re practicing communication.

Infants and toddlers benefit, too. Talking, reading and singing with babies helps surround them with the sounds and rhythms of language.

For more ideas, see Four Easy Ways to Help Your Child Develop Language Skills.

3. They Help Children Grow Empathy and Patience

Relationships across generations give children opportunities to discover that people experience the world in different ways.

An older adult may walk more slowly, need extra time to answer a question, use a hearing aid or wheelchair or prefer a quieter activity. With gentle guidance from parents and caregivers, children can learn to notice differences without treating them as something negative.

They can practice waiting, listening, helping when help is wanted and considering another person’s perspective.

4. They Encourage Curiosity and a Love of Learning

Grandparents and older adults have a lifetime of interests, experiences and skills to share, and children tend to have a lifetime’s worth of questions ready for them!

Gardening can become a science lesson. Baking can introduce counting and measuring. A walk through the neighborhood can turn into a conversation about how the community has changed. Music, sewing, woodworking, art and family recipes can introduce children to new skills and traditions.

Even a simple “When I was your age…” can lead to fascinating conversations about how people lived, played, worked and communicated in another time.

5. They Add Joy, Confidence and Another Source of Encouragement

Have you ever watched a child proudly present a drawing to someone who reacts as though they’ve just been handed a masterpiece? That interested, enthusiastic attention matters.

A caring older adult can provide another person who listens to a child’s stories, celebrates accomplishments and takes their questions seriously. Those interactions can help children feel that their thoughts, ideas and creations matter.

And the teaching doesn’t have to flow in only one direction. A grandparent might teach a child a card game. The child might teach the grandparent a classroom song. An older neighbor might demonstrate how to plant tomatoes. The child might explain exactly why one particular dinosaur is unquestionably the best dinosaur. Both generations have knowledge worth sharing.

Grandparent Love Can Come from Many Places

Not every child has a grandparent nearby—or a grandparent who can safely and actively participate in their life. That doesn’t mean they can’t experience a meaningful relationship with a caring older adult.

A grandparent-like relationship might grow with:

• A great-aunt or great-uncle
• A step-grandparent or great-grandparent
• A trusted older neighbor
• A longtime family friend
• A senior member of a family’s faith or community group
• A mentor through an established intergenerational program
• A carefully coordinated connection with someone in an assisted living or nursing community

What matters most isn’t the title. It’s the presence of a safe, caring, appropriate and dependable adult and a relationship supported or supervised by the child’s parent or caregiver.

It’s equally important not to assume that all older adults are lonely, frail or interested in spending time with children. Healthy relationships across generations should be based on mutual interest, respect, comfort and appropriate boundaries.

Simple Ways Children and Older Adults Can Connect

You don’t need a Pinterest-worthy project to create meaningful time together. Simple is often best!

Ideas include:

• Share a story. Read a picture book together, tell a favorite childhood memory or invent a story one sentence at a time. For older children, try swapping stories: the adult shares something memorable from childhood, then the child shares something important from their own life.
• Create something side by side. Draw portraits of each other, decorate cards, make a scrapbook or build something with blocks. Having an activity to focus on can make conversation feel natural and relaxed.
• Cook a family or favorite recipe. Invite children to scoop, pour, stir and count ingredients. Ask the older adult where the recipe came from or why it’s special. Food can be a wonderful doorway into family and cultural traditions, and perhaps a delicious lesson in patience while everyone waits for the cookies to cool.
• Take a “Then and Now” walk. Walk around the neighborhood and ask, “What was different when you were little?” Maybe a store used to be somewhere else. Maybe there were fewer houses. Maybe children played different games outside. Suddenly, history becomes personal.
• Trade talents. Everyone gets to be the teacher! An older adult could teach a song, craft, recipe, card game or gardening skill. The child could demonstrate a dance, explain a favorite toy, teach a classroom song or show the adult how to play a game.
• Create a long-distance ritual. Grandparents and other special adults don’t need to live around the corner to build a meaningful relationship. Try a regular ritual such as weekly video-story time, recorded bedtime stories, voice messages, mailed drawings or postcards, a shared photo album or singing the same goodnight song.

Keep interactions appropriate for your child’s age and attention span. Books, familiar songs, artwork or large-piece puzzles can provide an easy shared activity.

Set up for Success

Children often feel more comfortable in new environments when adults explain what they might see beforehand. If children are meeting an older adult for the first time, let them know what to expect.

For example, if you are visiting a nursing home, you might say: “We are going to meet some older adults and share our pictures. Some people may use wheelchairs, speak quietly or need extra time to answer. We can smile, say hello and ask before touching anyone or their belongings.”

Keep the explanation simple and matter-of-fact. The goal isn’t to make differences seem scary or unusual. It’s to help children enter a new environment feeling prepared, respectful and comfortable.

A child might need several visits before chatting freely. Follow the child’s cues rather than forcing conversation or affection. The same consideration applies to the older adult. Their comfort, energy, privacy and boundaries deserve equal respect.

Relationships don’t need to be rushed. Predictable, repeated contact often provides more opportunity for a genuine connection to grow.

Celebrating Every Generation

At Playful Minds Learning Center, our philosophy is to gently foster and guide each child’s love of learning while supporting them developmentally in all areas.

Learning to communicate, show kindness, listen, ask questions, appreciate differences and develop confidence are all part of growing up. Relationships with beloved grandparents or other older caring people can give children wonderful opportunities to practice those skills.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the benefits of grandparents for children?

Caring grandparents can give children another source of security, belonging, conversation and dependable support. Time together can also provide opportunities to practice communication, empathy, patience and curiosity while helping children learn about family stories, cultural traditions and their own sense of identity.

How do grandparents support a child’s emotional development?

A loving grandparent can support emotional development by listening, showing affection, offering encouragement and creating predictable opportunities to connect. Everyday conversations can also give children opportunities to talk about experiences and feelings. Grandparents complement, rather than replace, the essential role of parents and primary caregivers.

Can another older adult have a grandparent-like relationship with a child?

Yes. A step-grandparent, older relative, trusted family friend, neighbor or mentor can develop a meaningful relationship with a child. What matters most is that the adult is safe, appropriate, caring and dependable and that the relationship has the support and supervision of the child’s parent or caregiver.

What activities can grandparents do with young children?

Simple activities are often best. Grandparents and children can read, sing, tell stories, cook simple recipes, make art, garden, take walks, enjoy pretend play or look through family photographs. Choose activities that fit the child’s developmental stage and the interests, abilities and comfort of both people.

How can children stay connected with grandparents who live far away?

Consistency can make long-distance relationships feel special. Try short video calls, voice messages, recorded stories, mailed artwork, postcards or shared photographs. A simple recurring ritual—such as a Sunday story, weekly show-and-tell or familiar goodnight song—can give children something predictable to anticipate.